Never wait until landing to land new relationships. With Gogo you can Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and instant message the flight away.

Go Mountain Hawks! Rrrrrrrrrrraaaaa

Posted on: March 28th, 2012

That is the sound of the Mountain Hawks screaming from a perch in a conifer tree, swooping down to grasp the Duke Blue Devil in its talons. I’ve never understood how a devil could be blue. Is it a comment on how cold can burn just as severely as heat? I am an alumni of Lehigh Universitylocated in the sleepy Bethlehem, PA where I studied Greek Mythology and Theatre, and was head cheerleader for the women’s lacrosse squad. I will be reprising my role as spirit adviser for the Mountain Hawks 1st round March Madness game. My freshman roommate Paul Fiedler and I will be dressed in full Hawk regalia: wings, beak, and tail feathers. Paul and I had some crazy times together. We were infamous in theHonors Dorm for our marathon games of the board game Risk. Can’t wait to see you in Greensboro, N.C. on Friday Fiedz (that’s what I called Paul; it’s a shortened version of his last name). RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA!

Executive Signing Order

Posted on: March 28th, 2012

What deals there were to be found online on Presidents Day. I purchased a copper mug engraved with the noble profile of our 9th President, William Henry Harrison. Little known fact about Harrison, he is the first President to nominate a Secretary of State with a wooden leg. He alsoserved the shortest term ever: 30 days, 12 hours, and 30 minutes. The hero of the Battle of Tippecanoe died in office of complications from a cold that turned to pneumonia. In honor of the fallen soldier, I also purchased a brightly colored rain slicker with hood. Might I recommend that on your February flights you take a moment on Gogo to research your favorite President. Hail to the Chiefs!

Civil War Beard

Posted on: March 28th, 2012

I had reason to be in South Carolina for business entirely unrelated to the Republican primary, but I always welcome a healthy dose ofhullabaloo. The locals were incredibly receptive to this Yankee, many commenting on the fullness and quality of my beard. I was approached by a group of Civil War re-enactment actors who said that I looked perfect for the part of an artillery man. After sharing a story about my cats’ love of Southern rock, however, it was decided I would be best suited as a member of the regimental string band. (As long as I get to wear a uniform, I’m happy.)

And that, dear friends, is what led to yours truly spending the duration of my return flight downloading chord charts for classic marching ditties. Thank goodness for Gogo. See you next month for the Battle of Charleston!

How I Love you Gogo, Let me Count the Ways

Posted on: February 8th, 2012

What big hearts they have. Gogo is giving away a $10,000 Valentine’s snuggle jaunt to the bard with the most florid description of how they would spend a weekend away with that special someone.

What perfect timing for I have just entered into a mutually beneficial romantic entanglement with a woman by the name of Eloise.  We met online on a message board for hydroponic gardening enthusiasts. She was able to troubleshoot some pH issues impacting my heirloom tomatoes.  A few flirtatious emoticons later and we were changing our social networking relationship status. A Valentine’s getaway would be a perfect way for us to actually meet in person.

Enjoy my description of a truly blissful tryst. It has yet to be given approval by Eloise, but I can’t see how she could take issue with such a lovely sentiment.

We take separate flights, business class, and meet at a car rental kiosk, I wearing a purple ascot and she a violet in the lapel of her red, wool pea coat. We rent a 4-door sedan with seat warmers and passenger climate controls so that we can dictate our own thermal experience. We proceed from the airport forthwith to our accommodations: a rustic cabin in Redwood National Park. Once we have unpacked in our separate rooms, we are just meeting for the first if you must know, we go in search of a locally owned grocery store to purchase sundries and supplies.

After loading up on wine, cheese, smoked fish, and olives, we pack a picnic lunch. I have rented burrows and a local guide to lead us through the dense forest. The age and size of the trees place us both in a trance, only broken when we unpack our lunch on the flannel blanket that I used to tie up our cutlery.

Our guide eats an apple while propped on a rock outcropping as we dine leisurely. I feed her a cracker with smoked salmon and cream cheese. She laughs as the cracker threatens to fall from her mouth onto her yellow fleece vest.

When we arrive back at the cabin, she says she needs a warm bath. I take the opportunity to rock on the porch and blog on my tablet about our first real date. I shower after she has cleaned up; I can hear her plucking the decorative banjo that was resting on the fireplace mantel. We play cards in front of the fire and talk about what we would do in the face of a robot uprising.

I kiss her lightly on the cheek, thank her for a lovely day, and we retire to our separate rooms with double beds. I drift off while reading a biography about Ansel Adams.

Not My Seal of Approval

Posted on: January 23rd, 2012

I write this missive from the confines of my California king bed. Are you ill, Trav? No, not sick of the body, you see, but sick of the soul. I chanced upon a free People.com article on a Gogo equipped flight yesterday, and was dismayed to learn that arguably the greatest love story of the 21st century is reportedly coming to a premature end. Seal, the golden voice of ‘Kiss from a Rose,’ and Heidi Klum, sartorial host of ‘Project Runway,’ are separating.

The voice of my dear mother echoes in my mind during times of disappointment: The only constant is change, Trav. I have to remind myself that the hosts of fashion shows and British neo-soul singers are mere mortals, prone to the same pitfalls as the rest of us. Don’t let news of a fading love stop you from boarding your plane today, travelers. Take a moment, after the flight attendant gives permission, to log on to Gogo and remind your loved ones how much you anticipate a sweet reunion. And remember, that while some things in the air are free, you may find yourself paying for them in other currency. In this case, dare I say, tears?

XO

Trav

 

The Year of the Dragon

Posted on: January 13th, 2012

It’s never easy, but I have finally finished my New Year’s resolutions, which means that I broke my resolution from 2011 to have my 2012 list done by January 3rd.  In no particular order, here are my guiding principles for the year of the Dragon.

1.     Eat more canned vegetables and floss semi-weekly.

2.     Stop explaining to hotel staff the appropriate use “who” and “whom.”

3.     Send my nephew annotated (and autographed) pictures from my travels.

4.     Attend no fewer than 5 regular-season polo matches.

5.     Replace elbow patches on my Manchester corduroy blazer.

6.     Study up on the etymology of words so as not to defer to, “I think it’s Latin.”

7.     Always stuff my French toast.

8.     Practice whip skills.

9.     Direct community theatre production of “Death of a Salesman.”

10.      Build play structure in the motif of the “Seven Wonders of the World” for the cats.

Trav Was a Good Boy This Year

Posted on: January 13th, 2012

Happy New Year, Gogo subscribers! I don’t know about you but I made out like a bandito over the holidays. In order to ensure that I get exactly the presents I desire I buy them for myself. Then I wrap the gifts, put them under the tree, and drink egg nogg and hot buttered rum until I fall into a deep slumber. When I awake, imagine my surprise at the bounty Santa hath brought. My favorite purchase is a Brazilian Speak-and-Spell. I should be fluent in Portuguese before you can say “praia,” which translates to “beach,” which is where I’m going to fight off them winter blues.

Thau!

Shopping for book lovers has never been easier!

Posted on: December 21st, 2011

Shopping for book lovers has never been easier. Now that all children are given e-readers with their MMR vaccines, you can feel comfortable buying your nieces and nephews credit to online bookstores. If you don’t know what literature to buy your sister’s offspring, search for “Best of 2011” booklists for ideas.

In a pinch, regardless of their age, I recommend “The Hunger Games” by Suzanne Collins. I’m not familiar with the plot, but I imagine they are heartwarming tales of young adults competitively foraging for food.

Do you remember Cyber Monday?

Posted on: December 21st, 2011

Do you remember Cyber Monday? Seems like just a few weeks ago, which I suppose it was. Time for holiday shopping may be running out, but retailers continue to offer great deals online. Why risk being pepper-sprayed in the face over a gaming console, when you could leisurely peruse holiday-themed sweaters on your laptop while flying? Gogo is still offering exclusive in-air deals and 30 minutes of free access to top retailers, so take advantage if you’re flying home for the holidays.

“I’m so stressed,” shrieks a friend from your community college silversmithing class, “I haven’t finished my holiday shopping.”

“Not me,” you reply while finishing the final touches of a sea turtle broach, “I did all my shopping in the air using Gogo.

Who said Christmas wish lists are only for kids?

Posted on: December 14th, 2011

 

Who said Christmas wish lists are only for kids? Certainly not Gogo. Submit your wish list and justification – in 100 words or less – for why you need a robot dog that makes espresso, and you could win your wish, valued up to $5,000.

Don’t let the fear that your wish isn’t the most compelling or original keep you on the sidelines. Runners-up will see their wishes realized to the not-too-shabby tunes of $4,000 and $3,000 in value. So despite the claims of those peddling the latest athletic gear, second place is not the first loser. In this case, that would be fourth place. Now dash off to Facebook to register! And speaking of dashing, be sure to note the handsome fellow at the at the reins while you’re there.